I tried to quit my job on Sat. Handed in my two weeks. Things have been so frustrating, and overwhelming I just felt I had to bail. It's hard for me to even put into words what was eating at me, it was so emotional. Certainly not spontaneous though. I had been feeling like crap for over a month and had been weighing this consideration for some time. Heck I even mentioned it here once at least. To some degree anyhow.
So I figured I'd just get the ball rolling, and make the hurt go away. Even though I don't really wish to quit and would love for someone to give me a good reason to stay.
The reaction from it has been completely unexpected.
My boss was quite concerned [that I was expecting] and we talked it out a lot. More then I thought we would. He really worked on me come to think of it. What a suck. Haha anyway, in that time it helped me to vent, and come to terms with things. He helped shift my feelings and well all I can say is the past few days I've actually enjoyed work again. It's been a long time since I've felt that way about it. I think, "Hey things are looking up. I can relax and rescind that notice". Forget it ever happened. I think I'll stay.
Then my boss' boss just hears about the two week and wants to talk to me. Talk about stirring the pot. That put me in a bad mood, I already felt closure and this is just opening it again. Like it reminded me of everything why I wanted to leave in the first place. Garrrr. Why would he wanna bug me about that anyway? People quit there all the time. Like really.
And just when I thought that was bad....
My boss' boss' boss hears about the two week and wants to talk to me tomorrow. He's the guy who runs the show, he owns it and he gives orders, we follow. He's the guy who's office I've never been in. And right now, it feels like the dragon's lair. And I have to go in there first thing when I start my shift tomorrow.
I feel like it's a dream. I can't say bad dream though. I'm one who strongly believes in things happening for a reason.
See, there is a large percentage of the people I work with who feel the same way I do. It's not just me that feels so awful, and it's not a handful. There are a lot. They want to leave, but can't afford to. And some actually have left. However, their complaints or grievances for whatever reason bear no weight. It's almost like my out of the blue wanting to leave with no complaint is a cause for alarm. This might even be an opportunity for our voice to be heard, and if so it's gotta come through me.
Buuuuuuut in real life I'm quite reserved and shy. It's hard for me to share my opinion and speak up for myself. Being social is a big stretch for me. The thought of going up into that office.....terrifies me.
Am I strong enough to be a dragon slayer?